Wait… I thought I left Oregon

You know you’re living in the Northwest when…
Feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice restaurant.
Know at least eight people who work for companies that manufacture computer parts, airplanes or athletic shoes.
Can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese, and Thai food.
Return from a California vacation depressed because “all the grass was dead.”
Take a half day every July 1 to find your sunglasses and sunscreen.
Feel guilty for days after throwing an aluminum can in the trash instead of recycling it.
Get very, very happy when the early morning weather forecast includes the term “sun breaks.”
Are able to use 10 words to order a beverage the rest of the country calls “coffee.”
Never go camping without waterproof matches, ponchos, and mattress pads that double as flotation devices.
Know more people who own boats than air conditioners.
Consider that if it doesn’t have snow on it or has not recently erupted, regardless of elevation, it is a “hill” and not a “mountain.”
Complain about Californians until the day you sell your house to one for twice what you paid for it.
Personally know someone from Alaska.
Find a wallet with $500 in it, return it all to the owner, and refuse a reward.
Know the difference between Chinook, Coho, and Sockeye salmon.
Used to live somewhere else.
Believe swimming is not a sport but a survival skill to prevent boating deaths.
Believe swimming should only be done indoors, except in emergencies.
Own more than 10 articles of clothing that have the names of microbreweries/brewpubs printed on them. Bonus for embroidery.
Can point in the direction of two or more volcanoes even though you can’t see them through the clouds.
Think downtown is “scary” because you were panhandled there, once.
Go to work and return home in the dark in the winter, even though you only work an eight-hour shift.
Replace your hiking boots with Birkenstock or Teva sandals when the weather gets above 60 degrees.
Believe people who use umbrellas are wimps or Californians, or both



Well, I don’t call Oregon home anymore but it sure seems like I’ve moved back this week. I wish Mother Nature would make up her mind and decide that it’s winter. Speaking of winter, is it just me or are the holidays in the retail stores beginning a little early?! I was at WalMart on November 3rd and the Salvation Army bell ringers were already out in force. Really? For reals…? It’s got my holiday biological clock out of whack. All of the sudden I’m ordering my Christmas cards and worrying about what to get Alvin. Slow the freak down holidays! What happened to Thanksgiving kicking off the season? Is that Halloween’s job now? Well, for now I’m going to have to ignore the symptoms: craving pine scented anything, baking, trying to organize family trips that are two months away, and shopping. Good luck right?!